What is it, girl?

Ok, so I know it's been awhile buuuuhhttt it's never too late to teach old dogs new tricks, huh?  I'm trying to pull a Lassie here so please, stay tuned.

Oh, baby.. this is gonna hurt!

Running is like being pregnant.

At first, it sounds like a great idea.  You figure, ok so, it will take some time, I will probably suffer a little discomfort, my body will change shape but hey, I'm fairly healthy, fairly strong ~ I can handle it.

Then, the run/pregnancy begins and you wonder what the hell you were ever thinking when you decided to get yourself into this mess. 

Time? A slug's pace. You're told: 'It goes by so quick, bask in the glow of the experience, enjoy it while it lasts'  To which I snicker and cleverly retort: F-you.

Discomfort? Only if nausea, bloating, muscle aches, joint pain, sleep deprivation, hemorrhoids and incontinence -- all at the same time-- qualify as merely uncomfortable to you.  If so, you are a total junk-yard dog with balls of iron to whom I humbly offer a flabby ass-cheek as a chew toy (and I hope you get hit by a car...soon).

Body change? Things are stretched, pulled, pushed and squished (gotta love the uni-boob silhouette ~ so feminine, so sexy in that E.T.-Hearts-Porn type way).. until pangs of empathy for poor Mike Teevee (70's-style, of course) grip your poor, over-taxed heart.

Things are sore that you didn't even know could be sore.. For that matter you get sore in places you didn't even realize you had!

I mean, 'virgin territory' doesn't seem quite the appropriate landscape analogy (unless you wake up on a moving treadmill) but...

Honestly.. I have had a groin pull.  Can girls even get that?!

Wait.

Well.. can good girls even get that? 

Wait.

Dammit... never mind.

The point I'm trying to make here is, running/pregnancy sounds like a good idea until you actually do it.  Then, while you are sweating it out, trying to piece together the horrible events and decisions which lead you to this very trying, tiresome place... you finish.

When the 'race' is over, when the end to what you felt you could never endure arrives, and you smile and you laugh and you cry and think: I can't believe I did it. I guess it really wasn't so bad. 

Should we do it again, soon?

Maybe it's because we underestimate ourselves and think well, if I did it... it must be easy. That's when you hear the old "If I can do it, anyone can" line.  We shouldn't do that to ourselves. 

Today was freakin hard for me.  We ran a little over 2 miles.  3 minutes running and 2 minutes walking.  I only got in 1 training day this week and by the end of today's run I was gasping for air like a fish at a catfight -  but I was totally pumped. 

I. Did. It. 

And just because I did it does NOT mean that anyone can.  Today it is what I was made of.  It may not be so tomorrow.

So for now, I am going to sit back, hold onto this baby and wonder if the next one will be as easy.

Bringing Down the B

I knew it would happen.  I showed up at my running group feeling like "I totally got this shiz" --my inner beotch swaggering ever so slightly.  Then the actually running started. 

I huffed and I puffed and I... I...

..almost busted my ass. 

I did not, as much as I prayed for sweet death, fall down and surrender.  I did finish.  I did bask in the euphoria of having completed the task. 

Then, over a McDonald's sausage, egg and cheese mcmuffin, I promised myself I would train better, harder this week.

Wellll...

Hmm.

What day is today? Tuesday.. there's still time, right?